Humility and Freedom
“There is something in humility which strangely exalts the heart.” – St. Augustine
Being human, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about myself. My appearance, whether I appear intelligent and competent to others, and whether I’m getting what I deserve out of every situation are all popular subjects for my internal monologue. Rarely does the reality match up with my ideal. In fact, the more I obsess over these questions, the unhappier I become. It’s taken me a long time to realize the extent to which these thoughts are rooted in pride, and even longer for me to realize how deftly pride can rob us of our peace of mind.
The culture around us is no help when it comes to overcoming pride. It’s self-evident that the world we live in is obsessed with perfection. We are constantly ordered to pursue perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect careers, perfect management of our time and money, and perfect conduct, and the results are what matter, not the effort. If you fall short, then you are fair game for ridicule and contempt. And yet, is this insistence on perfection really making anyone happy? When I look at very prideful people, I see people who have no peace, who are at war with themselves trying to hold themselves to a standard that was never intended for them.
Humility offers us a different path, one that’s based on a proper understanding of our place in the universe. Trying to be perfect is a losing battle. It’s not possible; being human precludes the possibility of ever being perfect. We know this, of course… it’s easy to say but hard to come to terms with. I used to resist this truth with everything I had. However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that I’m much happier when I recognize that I’m not perfect and I’m never going to be. Suddenly it doesn’t matter as much if someone said something rude to me, if my hairstyle didn’t turn out, if I made a stupid mistake. I can shrug my shoulders without feeling that I’ve failed miserably, and then focus on other things, all of which are more interesting than the things my ego wants to focus on.
Pursuing humility doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to improve ourselves. But we should do so with a sense of detachment, knowing that there is one perfect being out there and He is God. Our prerogatives that we’re so focused on defending, our good qualities that we loudly parade before the world… all these come from God. Any gift of God can become a burden and a spiritual obstacle if held onto with the death grip of pride. Beauty can turn into vanity, and a source of grief as it fades over time. Riches can lead to anxiety as their possessor struggles to cling to them. Even the pursuit of moral perfection can be twisted by pride into scrupulosity. There is a profound peace to be gained from accepting your status as a flawed creature. God made you knowing for certain that you wouldn’t be perfect, and He wanted you in this world anyway. In His perfection, He chose to create you in your imperfection, because the goodness of your being was worth it. Don’t accept the lie that flaws destroy your human dignity. Listen to God when He says that you are precious to Him. Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.”
There is a deep paradox hidden in all this. The whole time we’ve been struggling for perfection, we’ve been working backwards. Our only hope for perfection is to imitate the One who is truly perfect and the source of perfection, and for that, we need humility. We need to allow ourselves to become nothing to become a new creation. This is not an easy thing to do by any means. It will probably be a lifelong undertaking for me. But as Jesus reminds us, “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30). We have nothing to lose when we strive to be humble except the inner turmoil of pride. My hope for all of us is that we’ll be able to open our hearts more fully to the gentle path of humility, and that we’ll experience for ourselves the freedom it brings.